• Relationships

    are tough.

  • If your relationship is stuck in frustrating patterns, and you want to get back on track.

    I can offer you realistic, direct guidance.

     

    The point isn't for you to spend years in therapy. It's to walk away
    with insight and skills that will help you stay connected to your partner.

    You can have a good relationship.

    You can learn to be a good partner.

    Couples counseling can help you get there.

  • Exclusively Couples

    My focus is couples and my training and commitment is to couples work. There is a ripple effect: by strengthening the couple, you strengthen all parts of your life from your family to your work to your friendships to how you feel about yourself.

     

    I truly believe that the best way to grow is through an intimate relationship with someone else.

     

    This is the best work we can do on
    this planet. Everything else springs from that fierce connection.

    Outside the Box

    It takes all kinds of couples to make a world and I welcome them all. I am experienced in working with the following couples/relationships:

    lesbian
    gay
    transgender
    pre-marital

    polyamorous
    bi-cultural

    parenting couples

    spiritually diverse
    racially diverse
    open relationships
    age difference
    long-distance

    sexual differences

     

    I honor the diversity of your culture, your religious beliefs, your gender and/or your sexuality/sexual orientation.

    My Approach

    I see problem patterns, not problem people. I help couples shift those patterns, while respecting who they are and how they live their lives. I work best with clients who want a therapist who is direct, transparent, funny, flexible, moves quickly and is not afraid to tell them the truth.

     

    I have experience
    working with couples struggling with sexual and desire difference issues, infidelity, addictions, gender issues/ transitioning, cultural disconnect, childhood trauma/abuse, parenthood,
    prejudice/social disenfranchisement and depression/anxiety.

     

  • Who I Am

    I became a couples counselor because I believe that we all long to connect to others emotionally, physically, sexually, spiritually--and I wanted to help others achieve that.

     

    I am a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in Oregon with a private practice in Kenton/North Portland. I have a Master's Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Portland State University (2011).

    I am certified in Relational Life Therapy with Terry Real (www.terryreal.com) and have additional training in Susan Johnson's EFT-C (Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples), Bessel van der Kolk (trauma, Dan Wile's Collaborative Couples Therapy, Esther Perel (sexuality and infidelity) and Martha Kauppi (sex, sexual desire).

     

    I work from a family systems perspective (we are all connected in a system and making one shift can shift everything else in that system) and attachment theory (how we bonded as infants affects how we bond to our adult partners).

     

    Before becoming a therapist, I was a journalist, editor, writing instructor, worked in midwifery, led parenting classes and groups for incarcerated teen girls. Most of my early life was spent living outside the United States. I speak conversational German and Italian and am tackling Turkish.

     

     

  • What I Charge

    I am committed to providing affordable therapy for couples.

    I charge $100 for a 75-minute session and offer several spots at a generous sliding scale for couples dealing with financial hardship/crisis. Please don't hesitate to ask me about this. I can also point you towards low-cost counseling resources.

     

    I also offer a free 20-minute consultation on the phone. I do not take insurance. I donate 10% of my pre-tax earnings to several non-profit organizations that advocate for social and economic justice, gender equality, peacemaking and anti-racism.

     

    If my schedule is full and I cannot fit you in, please see my list of referrals (below), or email me and I will do my best to help you.

     

    My office is in Kenton/North Portland at 2125 N. Willis next to Kenton Park.

     

  • Let's Talk

     

    Note: I am currently full and not taking new clients. However, spots do open up. Please email me if you are interested in future counseling and please let me know if you were referred by your therapist or a former/current client of mine. Also, if you would like to see someone sooner, check out my referrals below or email me and I'll try to help. Thank you!

     

     

    Counseling for Couples

    2125 N. Willis Street, Suite B

    Portland, OR 97217

    counselingforcouplespdx@gmail.com | 541-601-7676

    2125 N.Willis Street Portland, OR
  • My Blog

    Welcome to the blog! You can see my blog posts below.

    December 7, 2018
    ...
    ...
    October 17, 2018
    ...
    September 24, 2018
    ...
    ...
    December 3, 2017
    ...
    September 7, 2017
    ...
    More Posts
  • Helpful Links & Resources

    Resources for Couples

     

    • Rethinking Infidelity and Mating in Captivity - Esther Perel. A fresh voice with pioneering ideas about women's desire, couples & sex and infidelity.
    • I Don't Want to Talk About It - Terry Real. Important and groundbreaking book on men and depression
    • New Rules of Marriage - Terry Real. Skills and insight on being "relational."
    • Rethinking Infidelity and Mating in Captivity - Esther Perel. A fresh voice with pioneering ideas about women's desire, couples & sex and infidelity. 
    • Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person, by philosopher/essayist Alain de Botton and his School of Life videos.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-EvvPZFdjy and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IuV80wYRld0
    • Wired for Love and Wired for Dating - Stan Tatkin. Clear understanding of how we attached as children affects how we find (and sometimes struggle with) partners. stantatkin.com
    • Brene Brown - read her books, watch her TED talk for an understanding of shame.  brenebrown.com
    • Pia Mellody - I call her the Queen of Codependence. Her writings/talks on boundaries, codependence and addiction is brilliant. piamellody.com
    • Byron Katie - Katie is all about investigating thoughts/beliefs that keep you stuck and in pain. She's definitely woo and definitely the real deal. Find out more at www.TheWork.org. Watch her on youtube.
    • Terryreal.com

      Terry Real is the founder of Relational Life Therapy (RLT), a direct and practical approach to couples counseling and intimate relationships. This site offers tips and useful resources for couples.

      Where Do We Begin? - a series of free podcasts hosted by Esther Perel. Each features a couple in a live session with Perel, who works on a range of issues from infidelity to parenting to cultural and gender differences in couples.

    Sexuality & Desire Resources

     

     

    Couples Referrals

    There are a lot of skilled therapists in Portland. Here are a few I recommend:

     

    Couples Therapists:

    • I highly recommend all of these Oregon RLT therapists: http://www.terryreal.com/therapist-map#oregon
    • Katrina Gould, LCSW - Hakomi trained; SE
    • Lori Severson, LPC - training in Terry Real's RLT;  addictions, Native American, Beaverton
    • Emalee Assenberg - couples. Downtown
    • Ryan Brown - LGBTQ+ and polyamory. SE
    • Barry McVay, LPC - individuals, couples, expertise in sex/pornography addiction; Sellwood
    • Kathryn Williams, LPC - LGBTQ+ couples & individuals. 
    • Elaine Korngold - couples financial therapy; SW
    • Tina Lilly, LPC - open/polyamory relationships:/sexuality. English and German. 
    Individual Therapists:
    • Lori Severson, LPC - expertise in addictions,
    • Helen Goode, LPC - expertise in addictions and adult children of alcoholics. Offers groups. SE
    • Kristen Beck - anxiety & depression; Gresham
    • Gia Buckberg, LCSW -- life changes; NW
    • Jeannie Songer, LPC - relationships; LGBTQ+; NE
    • Naomi Sakanoue, LPC - Hakomi-trained, counseling in English and Japanese. NW
    • Erika Ruber, LCSW - trauma recovery. Process/movement groups for women & girls. NE
    • Kerry Ogden LPC - uses yoga, mindfulness & somatics for personal growth. Downtown

    Low-Cost Counseling Resources

    williamtemple.org

    William Temple House

    2021 NW Hoyt

    Offers low-cost counseling for individuals and couples.

    Apply online or in person

    Other Books & Resources

    Wedding Toasts I Never Gave - insightful and funny collection of essays by Ada Calhoun.

    Queer Eye - struggling with finding empathy or hope in anxious times? Feeling stuck? This is a different kind of reality show in which five gay men help people get out of a life/self-image/outlook ruts. Great to watch with your partner because it's all here - depression, relationships, stuck beliefs and loneliness. Netflix.

     

    • “Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within.” James Baldwin
    • “Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.” Anaïs Nin
    • “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; loving someone deeply gives you courage. Lao Tzu

     

     

    Portland Resources

     

    • Multnomah County Health Crisis
    • IRCO
    • Outside In
    • Q Center
    • Dougy Center
    • Be Nourished
    • STILL IN PROGRESS

    Addiction & Recovery

     

    About Therapy

    • People of Color & Therapy http://www.oprah.com/health_wellness/how-racial-bias-affects-mental-health-treatment - challenges that people of color face finding effective therapy.
    •  
    •  
  • Most of us aren't taught the basic skills that are at the heart of successful relationships so these skills can seem mysterious and complex. Through skill-building exercises and the interactive group experience, this group will provide you with what's been missing.

  • Couples Workshop Series -- September 15 & 22, 2019

    Join Katrina Gould and Sarah Pattee for two couples workshops that will improve
    your communication skills and deepen your couples' connection. Each workshop can be taken as a stand alone, but we strongly encourage couples to take both, as they build on each other. Cost for workshops is per couple. You may sign up below to hold your spot. Refund policy: if you sign up and find that you cannot attend, we will credit your payment towards a future workshop.

    Couples Workshop Parts 1 & 2
    $235.00
    Quantity
    Coming soon
    Couples Workshop Part 2 -- Boundaries
    $150.00
    --Develop and set healthy boundaries
    --Notice what gets you triggered, and learn ways to manage your emotions

    Sunday, Sept 22, 1-5 pm
    Workshops are held at 8125 SE Pine St, in Montavilla.
    Price is per couple.
    Quantity
    Coming soon
    Couples Workshop Part 1 -- Communication
    $125.00
    --Identify winning/losing communication
    strategies
    --Learn deep listening skills to be a better
    partner.

    Sunday, Sept 15, 1-4:30 pm.
    Workshops are held at 8125 SE Pine St, in Montavilla.
    Price is per couple.
    Quantity
    Coming soon
All Posts
×