Einstein quote about not being able to change something with the same mind that created it. How we feel stuck in relationship - doing the same thing again and again.
Some of this is "me" work and some of it is "we' work; deciding to work on yourself is a good start. Where are you stuck in the same responses you make to your partner? Where is your thinking stuck? About your body, your stories about your partner and who they are, your internal beliefs about yourself. Where are you stuck in how you listen? How you communicate your anger, pain, resentments? Starting with yourself is a good place.
Example: you approach your partner with something that feels wrong to you. You lead with kindness, not criticism. You are clear and calm, not angry and accusatory. And still, your partner reacts defensively. Here's the deal: you still have a choice in how you respond in the face of a bad move by your partner. You can stay calm and hold the boundary and not let yourself get drawn into a bad move.
Change your mind and change the pattern. And there are different ways of shaking up our minds. Something expressive seems to unlock stuck parts of our brain: painting, Life Paint and Passion.