• Relationships

    are tough.

  • If your relationship is stuck in frustrating patterns, and you want to get back on track.

    I can offer you realistic, direct guidance.

     

    The point isn't for you to spend years in therapy. It's to walk away
    with insight and skills that will help you stay connected to your partner.

    You can have a good relationship.

    You can learn to be a good partner.

    Couples counseling can help you get there.

  • Exclusively Couples

    My focus is couples and my training and commitment is to couples work. There is a ripple effect: by strengthening the couple, you strengthen all parts of your life from your family to your work to your friendships to how you feel about yourself.

     

    I truly believe that the best way to grow is through an intimate relationship with someone else.

     

    This is the best work we can do on
    this planet. Everything else springs from that fierce connection.

    Outside the Box

    It takes all kinds of couples to make a world and I welcome them all. I am experienced in working with the following couples/relationships:

    lesbian
    gay
    transgender
    pre-marital

    polyamorous
    bi-cultural

    parenting couples

    spiritually diverse
    racially diverse
    open relationships
    age difference
    long-distance

     

    I honor the diversity of your cultural or religious beliefs and sexual orientation.

    My Approach

    I see problem patterns, not problem people. I help couples shift those patterns, while respecting who they are and how they live their lives. I work best with clients who want a therapist who is direct, transparent, funny, flexible, moves quickly and is not afraid to tell them the truth.

     

    I have experience
    working with couples struggling with infidelity, addictions, gender issues/ transitioning, childhood trauma/abuse, parenthood,
    prejudice/social disenfranchisement and depression/anxiety.

     

  • Who I Am

    I became a couples counselor because I believe that we all long to connect to someone else emotionally, sexually, spiritually--and I wanted to help others achieve that.

     

    I am a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in Oregon with a private practice in Kenton/North Portland. I have a Master's Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Portland State University (2011).

    I am certified in Relational Life Therapy with Terry Real (www.terryreal.com) and have additional training in Susan Johnson's EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) for Couples, Bessel van der Kolk (trauma) and Dan Wile's Collaborative Couples Therapy. I am currently training with Esther Perel in the areas of desire, infidelity and sexuality in couples therapy. I have additional training/experience in suicide prevention and parenting.

    I work from a family systems perspective (we are all connected in a system and one shift can shift everything else in that system) and attachment theory (how we bonded as infants affects how we bond to our adult partners).

     

    Before becoming a therapist, I was a journalist, editor, writing instructor, worked in midwifery, led parenting classes and groups for incarcerated teen girls. Most of my life has been spent living outside the United States. I speak conversational German and Italian and am tackling Turkish.

     

     

  • What I Charge

    I am committed to providing affordable therapy for couples.

    I charge $100 for a 75-minute session and offer several spots at a generous sliding scale for couples dealing with financial hardship/crisis. Please don't hesitate to ask me about this. I can also point you towards low-cost counseling resources. (See resources, below).

     

    I also offer a half-hour consultation on the phone. I do not take insurance.

     

    My office is in Kenton/North Portland at 2125 N. Willis next to Kenton Park.

     

  • Let's Talk

     

    December 2017 update: I am currently full for the rest of the year, however, I should have some spots opening in early 2018. Please email me about availability and please let me know if you were referred by your therapist or a former/current client of mine. Thank you!

     

     

    Counseling for Couples

    2125 N. Willis Street

    Portland, OR 97217

    slpattee@gmail.com | 541-601-7676

    2125 N.Willis Street Portland, OR
  • My Blog

    Welcome to the blog! You can see my blog posts below.

    December 3, 2017
    ...
    September 7, 2017
    ...
    September 2, 2017
    ...
    May 2, 2017
    ...
    March 2, 2017
    ...
    January 20, 2017
    ...
    More Posts
  • Helpful Links & Resources

    Low-cost Counseling

    williamtemple.org

    William Temple House

    2021 NW Hoyt

    Offers low-cost counseling for individuals and couples.

    Apply online or in person

    Online Couples Resources

    Terryreal.com

    Terry Real is the founder of Relational Life Therapy (RLT), a direct and practical approach to couples counseling and intimate relationships. This site offers tips and useful resources for couples.

    Where Do We Begin? - a series of free podcasts hosted by Esther Perel. Each features a couple in a live session with Perel, who works on a range of issues from infidelity to parenting to cultural and gender differences in couples

     

    Couples Referrals

    There are a lot of skilled therapists in Portland. Here are a few I recommend:

    • I highly recommend all of these Oregon RLT therapists: http://www.terryreal.com/therapist-map#oregon
    • Katrina Gould, LCSW - individuals & couples; SE
    • Lori Severson - individuals and couples; expertise in addictions, Beaverton
    • Helen Goode - individuals; expertise in addictions and adult children of alcoholics. SE
    • Emalee Assenberg - individuals and couples. Downtown
    • Ryan Brown - individuals, LBGTQ and polyamory. SE
    • Naomi Sakanoue, LPC - individuals; Hakomi-trained, counseling in English and Japanese. NW
    • Barry McVay, LPC - individuals, couples, expertise in sex/pornography addiction; SW
    • Gia Buckberg, LCSW -- individuals; NW
    • Jeannie Songer - individuals; LBGTQ; NE
    • Kathryn Williams, LPC - LBGTQ couples & individuals
    • Brian Farr - individuals; financial adviser; NW
    • Tina Lilly, LPC - couples & individuals; open/polyamory relationships: counseling in English and German. SE
    • Kristen Beck - individuals; Gresham

    Couples Books

    These are books I use in my couples practice:

    • I Don't Want to Talk About It - Terry Real. Important and groundbreaking book on men and depression
    • New Rules of Marriage - Terry Real. Gives the skills and understanding needed to have a solid relationships. 
    • Rethinking Infidelity and Mating in Captivity - Esther Perel. A fresh voice with pioneering ideas about women's desire, couples & sex and infidelity. 
    • Wired for Love and Wired for Dating - Stan Tatkin. Clear understanding of how we attached as children affects how we find (and sometimes struggle with) partners. stantatkin.com
    • Brene Brown - read her books, watch her TED talk for an understanding of our shame. find lots of resources on brenebrown.com
    • Pia Mellody - I call her the Queen of Codependence. Her writings/talks on boundaries, codependence and addiction is brilliant. piamellody.com
    • Byron Katie - Katie is all about investigating those thoughts/beliefs that keep you stuck and in pain. She's definitely woo and definitely the real deal. Find out more at www.TheWork.org.

    Other Books

    Wedding Toasts I Never Gave - insightful and funny collection of essays by Ada Calhoun,

     

    Portland Resources

     

    • Multnomah County Health Crisis
    • IRCO
    • Outside In
    • Q Center
    • Dougy Center
    • STILL IN PROGRESS

    Addiction & Recovery

     

    • AA
    • Alanon
    • Smart Recovery
    • Recoveryrefuge.org
    • AA Agnostica
    • hipsobriety.com
    • Alanon Speakers - free app

    Quotes about Love

    • "The grass is greener where you water it." Neil Barringham
    • “Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within.” James Baldwin
    • “Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.” Anaïs Nin
    • “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; loving someone deeply gives you courage. Lao Tzu
    • “Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances continue, a wonderful living side by side can grow, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see the other whole against the sky.”  Rainer Maria Rilke
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